In contemporary Hong Kong, typical young generation Tim Cheung joins the Vampire Cleanup Department team which is a special and secret task force for dealing Chinese vampire Goeng Si. During the operation he is instructed by his uncle Chau of the team senior officer, and finally he saves a female Goeng Si, Summer from her master evil lord Goeng Si who buried alive her in the feudalistic era. Tim Cheung joins the Vampire Cleanup Department which is a secret task force for dealing Chinese vampire Goeng Si. He is instructed by his uncle Chau and he saves a female Goeng Si, Summer from her evil lord Goeng Si who buried alive her. This cockamany story has the "hero" bitten by a vampire but he turns out to be immune (explained in the first twenty minutes) and joins a Ghostbusters like anti-Vampire crew only to be assigned to sweeping the floors, where he develops kung fu like moves akin to the Karate Kid. On a search for vampires he encounters a drowned ugly one [aren't they all?] that swallows his cell phone. He falls into the water trying to retrieve it and they lock lips making the vampire iurn into a beautiful twenty year old woman who died (was buried alive) in the 1800's. <br/><br/>She hops around, as apparently Chinese vampires do (which helps me better understand "Crazy Safari" where a Ctinese vampire falls out of a plane over Botswana {The Gods Must Be Crazy #3 of 5}). She is able to communicate account the cell phone she shallowed (using Siri like exchanges). She takes a fancy to old Chinese Operas on the television so he leaves her watching while he attends his other duties - what could go wrong? This hopping-Chinese-vampire-comedy felt very shallow. It tries to be hip and modern but feels as hip as Babyjohns granny in her hibbedy-hob-garments - it's a joke. Babyjohn himself made me want to grab the TV and shake it, although cruelty against minors is not my thing at all. The romance was completely artificial and the story itself tries to be too many things at once while failing to deliver any of the real goods like horror, comedy or action. "Vampire Cleanup Department" feels more like a failed TV-Show and tries to update the Jiang-Shi-Lore with elements from Blade and Buffy without providing any original life energy for us to suck up.<br/><br/>+ classic ("Mr. Vampire") veterans on board! It's great to see Richard Ng and Chin Siu-Ho again and there's even a cameo from Eric Tsang. That's nice! - Lead actors are not at all interesting - script is all over the place - Makup effects are not very frightening - Digital fx are very bad. The vampire kills are very much doing the same as "Blade" did, but that movie is 20 years old soon and looks a million times better. - romance: Maybe this works for Youtube junkies. I don't know. I hope not otherwise mankind might be doomed. What happens at the end?Does it make sense at all? - Babyjohn? Is he a kid, is he an adult? Watch this movie and see for yourselves!<br/><br/>verdict: hop along, hop along, there's nothing to see here.
Neltancr replied
352 weeks ago